My Journey as a Single Mum 

My name is Sacha and this is my daughter, Rebekah.

I am a Christian and a new mum. I am on this journey by myself as I am not with the father and there is a big story behind the reason why. But I wanted to talk about my journey here as a new mum, and the blessing that is my daughter, Rebekah.  It was a difficult time for me when I found out about Rebekah, and I was persuaded to try and get an abortion. However, it did not come to pass, which I am thankful for. God had other plans for us.

My relationship with the father of my child was pretty bad, I won’t lie. I was with him for over three years. He claimed to be a Christian, but he wasn’t. God tells us “ye shall know them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:16(a)), and his fruits (actions) were far from Christ-like. He accused me of cheating on him constantly, played many games with my head, watched and monitored me, controlled me completely. I was deprived of my liberty. The only good thing that came out of all of this is my daughter, Rebekah.

When I discovered that I was pregnant with Rebekah, I had to do three pregnancy tests to be sure as he didn’t believe me and thought that I had tampered with them (I am unsure how you could do that, especially since that he was right there as I did them). All three had the line show up on the test for a positive result. And it was so. We had conceived a baby together. I was a little shocked at first because the father of Rebekah and I had decided to just be friends. With the news of a baby on the way, it was very stressful for him to hear. He also had doubts about whether or not the child was his. He had hopes and dreams of doing things with his life that did not involve any kind of relationship or child in the picture. He wanted to pursue a ‘rockstar lifestyle’.

After we did the pregnancy tests, we went to the doctors to get a final answer. I was advised to get an ultrasound to confirm whether or not there was a bun in the oven. I remember being told that if it didn’t have a heart beat then he would be willing to kill it, fully knowing that abortion is murder and it is a sin. God would not be pleased. He really did not want this to be true. We said a prayer before I got the ultrasound, hoping that I wasn’t pregnant. When we went in and did the ultrasound though, there we saw our baby on the ultrasound screen. I was approximately 6 weeks pregnant at the time, and there was a strong, fast-paced heart beat that we got to hear.

You can see here in the image shown my little baby inside my womb, and the strong, healthy heart beat she had. Little fact: a baby can have a heart beat as early as 21 days old (source: http://www.ehd.org/dev_article_unit4.php). Even to those who are pro choice when it comes to abortion should acknowledge this fact. A heart beat means life! To take away that baby, by murdering it inside the mother’s womb is wicked (Exodus 20:13 “Thou shalt not kill”). Hearing my baby’s heart beat for the first time was amazing. To be able to know that you have life growing inside of you, and to hear it is incredible. I cannot even begin to fathom how someone could want to take that away; to make that heart stop beating; to make that little baby disappear.

To us as Christians we believe that life begins at conception. God created life. And life begins from Day 1. “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee…So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them”(Jeremiah 1:5(a); Genesis 1:27). We should never “play God” and try to take away the life of the innocent. God hates “hands that shed innocent blood” (Proverbs 6:17(b)).

When we heard the baby’s strong heart beat, I remember the father of my child getting teary. He regretted thinking that he was willing to murder our baby. We went back home later on that day, and on the drive home he yelled at me and told me that I would be a horrible mother to the child and it is such a messed up situation. He was very angry with the news that I was pregnant. It was such a hard moment for me to cope with after receiving what I believed was the best news that God had blessed me with a child. The only things that kept me going through this moment, and further moments to come, was my baby and my faith in God. “Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward”(Psalm 127:3). At that point, I had to let go, and give all of my fears, my anxieties, my stress, everything to God, and to let Him guide me. For it is written, “ Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7).

A few days after getting the ultrasound, he made a phone call to his father, to let him know the news. I didn’t want to share the news with anyone just yet as it was all so new to us, but he ended up telling his father. His father had told him to “get rid of it”, and convinced the father of my child to believe that we wouldn’t be able to provide a decent life for the child as we had no jobs and no future/goals. His father also said that if we kept the baby then he would not financially or emotionally support us. Instead of standing up for his child’s life, and standing his ground during this discussion with his father, he was convinced in his own mind too that the child would have a terrible life and that we should get rid of it. I remember feeling so angry because I knew that this was the wrong thing to do.

They tried to convince me of getting rid of the child, but it did not work. I remember kicking and screaming in my bed one morning saying that no one will take away my baby. I stood my ground. Unfortunately though, I was forced to go to the nearby public hospital to ask for an abortion. When we went to the hospital, we waited for several hours to speak to a nurse there who thankfully told me that they cannot legally do abortions due to the laws in the public health sector. I believe then and there God was with us, protecting us from taking away His perfect gift to us both.

Everything happens for a reason. God has a plan for all of us. I fell pregnant as that was what was meant to happen for me in my life. God wanted me to become a mother. To go against the will of God is unbiblical. For example, when we look at James 4:13-17, we understand that we must do everything in life according to God’s will and not our own. If we do not obey Him, and follow His lead, then we can fall into sin. This scripture is a warning to those who think that they are in control of their own lives. It is dishonouring to God to live a presumptuous lifestyle and not include Him in all opportunities. We must acknowledge that life itself is a gift from God. To boast about being self-sufficient in your day-to-day lives is evil as it disregards the need for God.

To go through such a stressful situation such as this, only come out of it feeling stronger and more humble than ever is a true sign that God was with us, every single step of the way, doing everything He could to protect my daughter. To those of you out there who contemplate abortion as a way to dismiss any responsibilities of having a child in your life, or to think that it would be a better option than to raise it in a potential difficult situation that you have currently in your own life, I encourage you to give this all to God in prayer. He was there for us every step of the way, and I know that He will be with you too, if you ask Him and let Him guide you and protect you. “Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness… Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding… Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart… And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose” (Isaiah 41:10; Proverbs 3:5; Psalm 27:14(a); Romans 8:28).

I hope that my journey of becoming a mother has encouraged others to strengthen their faith in God and trust in The Lord completely. He loves us, He cares for us, He provides for us and looks after us all.

God Bless you all, in Jesus’ name, AMEN.

ABOUT SACHA ROSE

Sacha is the newest Apples of Gold Jewelry featured writer. Her story has inspired us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Look for regular posts from Sacha on a variety of topics about moms, families, and women’s issues. In the Spring of 2018, Apples of Gold also plans to unveil a new collection of mother’s jewelry, called Bekah’s Jewels, featuring a unique collection of sterling silver and personalized mum’s jewelry inspired by Sacha Rose’s journey as a “single mum” raising Rebekah!

Category: mom blog